In order to write this “musical” I had to pick a pocket or two. I chose Lionel Bart’s pocket where I found his musical “Oliver.” The serfs in my musical are working people.
Rich Man (spoken)
Please, serfs, I want some more.
Tune: “Oliver”
Serfs
Oligarch, oligarch, we’ve already
given you all that we’ve got.
Oligarch, oligarch, why not
go chill with some wine on your yacht?
Rich Man
There’s a dark, thin, scary hole in myself where my soul should be!
And that’s why I need to live behind bars in a gated community.
Tune: “Food Glorious Food”
Serfs
Jobs, glorious jobs! Pay, health care and pensions!
We’re losing our jobs! Who’s paying attention?
Rich Man
I made a new job today, should fill someone’s belly.
Now, where did I put it? – right, in New Delhi.
Tune: “Who Will Buy?”
Small Businesses
Who will buy our lovely merchandise
When the serfs lose their money?
Wall Street
You can all just merge with Wa-al-Mart.
Small Businesses
Oh shut up, that’s not funny!
Planet Earth (spoken)
Um – hello?
(Tune: “Consider Yourself”)
The Tea Party
Consider us all pissed off!
Consider us white, but also red with rage.
We’re looking for folks to blame!
It’s clear — we’re — going to name some names!
(Tune: “Where is Love?”)
Liberals
It’s the corporations – true?
Look at what they’ve done to you!
They’ve off-shored our jobs, cut benefits,
At every turn, we’re screwed.
Where oh where is Medicare
If the rich won’t pay their share?
Our retirement pay will go away
If the right wing has its way —
(Tune: “Reviewing the Situation”)
The Tea Party
We’re reviewing the situation
And you nasty Liberals have a charge to face.
You’ve an awful reputation
For trying to make the world a fairer place.
You’d tax and spend until we’re bust
And give us health care we could trust
Fund Medicare, parental leave
Keep old folks safe: would you believe?
Do we need that? Don’t make us heave,
No wonder that we’re so aggrieved!
Liberals
We think you’d better think it out again.
(Tune: “Oom-pah-pah”)
Fox News
Rile ’em up, rile ’em up, that’s how it goes,
Lying, beguiling, so they’ll never know
That we’re in bed with their master and foes —
Come on, let’s rile ’em up!
Planet Earth (Spoken)
Sorry to interrupt, but I’m getting kind of hot here.
(Tune: Be Back Soon)
Fox News, Rich Man, Wall Street, the Tea Party
Hey – government!
You can go and don’t come back!
You can go to hell and stay there!
Don’t need the likes of you
To tell us what to do!
(Tune: “As Long as He Needs Me”)
U.S. Government
Who else will legislate?
Who else will educate?
Who else will regulate?
You see, you do need me.
Who else will tend our shores?
Who else will fight our wars –
Rich Man, Wall Street, Fox News (spoken)
We’ll make an exception for wars.
(Tune: “Better Pick a Pocket or Two”)
Why should we break our backs
Paying our share of tax?
We’ll let the serfs pick up the tab
While we pick a pocket or two — oo,
We’ve got to pick a pocket or two.
(Tune: “Boy for Sale”)
Serf
One house,
One house for sale.
It’s going cheap
Now that I’m not working …
Planet Earth (spoken)
Guys? I don’t know how much longer I can keep it together for you.
The Religious Right (spoken)
God is good. God is great. God will tell you who to hate.
(Tune: “Consider Yourself”)
Liberals
Consider yourselves at home.
Consider yourselves part of a family..
There’s actually a lot to spare.
Just care – and –
Whatever we’ve got we’ll share.
Fox News, the Tea Party, Wall Street, the Religious Right (spoken)
Socialists!
Rich Man (spoken)
You’ll have to get past my gates first.
A song starts playing: haunting, familiar. Everyone stops talking and listens. Gradually, they all join in. Song: “America the Beautiful”
All
O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears.
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee.
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea.
Pause. Then, spoken:
Rich Man
I’m scared.
Liberals
We’re scared.
Serfs, the Tea Party, Small Business, the Religious Right
We’re scared.
Planet Earth
I’m bloody terrified.
